"love, prepare yourself to shine."

"Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

It's 2011...and strange to think that just a year ago I was leaving to start out on an adventure to France, starting this blog in hopes of having a way to look back at it all. It was an incredible year. Last year, I wrote a journal entry saying that I thought the word that would best summarize my year in 2010 would be growth.

And in many ways, that would be true. I went to France on my own – traveled and saw the world, did so much my parents never were able to do; and now Seattle – where I have my first job and corresponding paycheck, and my first stab at the real world. To be honest, I’m not sure what 2011 is going to bring – lots of joy and struggles to be sure, new ups and downs to learn from and grow with.

I think for 2011, I would like my word to be individual. I want to continue to learn who I am, and to define it. I want to broaden my sense of self and start to figure out the rest of my life, however that’s going to end up. Adjusting to working every day has been a different challenge than my challenges of last year. And although it's been a huge change in many ways, I definitely feel like I do valuable work. And I actually like what I'm doing. Which I'm sure surprises no one except for me. I think one of my problems is that I like everything I do. And so then I never know what I actually want to do the most. And that's why I have trouble making decisions...yes, trouble making decisions, huge shocker, I know. So one of my goals is to start doing the choosing, even if it's difficult, consciously and deliberately picking one thing over the other because it's what I want, and not what anyone else wants.

Seattle is calm for the most part, and there's a routine. I go to work, I laugh with my cubemates, I come home, I go to volleyball on Wednesdays (i know, right?) , I spend time with a boy who loves me, I drink obscene amounts of coffee, I train for my 2nd half marathon (june 5th!!!), and sometimes I get lost in all of that. And it's all good, don't get me wrong. But I am bold and daring, and have so much more out there to accomplish and dream and do. And I think that's a lofty enough goal for 2011. Bring it on :)

And here we have Idaho

"We'll go singing, singing of you, ah, proudly too, all our lives through, alma mater, our Idaho..."

A whole bunch of people always ask me, "So, why'd you go to school all the way out in Idaho?" And I always have a whole bunch of answers to give - I wanted a change - I have family that live in Idaho - My aunt went there - I got a great scholarship package. And those things are all true statements. But the truth is, like most of the really good decisions that I've made in my life, I have absolutely no idea why I chose to go there.

I also tell people that I never intended to stay in Idaho. And that's true too. It wasn't supposed to be a destination, but life takes you to unexpected places.

This weekend I went back to Moscow for a football game. No, not a football game, the football game. We got crushed by Boise State. And I absolutely loved every single minute of it. Not the game, mind you, that was devastating. But being back with all my friends in that town was absolutely fabulous.

Every bar has a story, every restaurant, every place on campus. It was my home for four long years. I'm glad I've moved on, but to go back...it feels so good.

The memories I have of college are nothing but fond ones. I found out who I was in that town, and the people I met there are the people I care about the most. I talk about Idaho a lot, even now, because it changed who I was. It helped me become the person I am still becoming, and am capable of becoming.

I'm told undergraduate universities breed loyalty like no other form of higher education has mastered. With no experience but my own to go on, I think that's probably a true statement. Although the final score came up 52-14, I'm still proud to be a Vandal! And I'm always going to be, no matter where my life takes me.

Going to Idaho was no accident. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that things happen for a reason. And I'm so glad that it did.

So here we go bluebird

"The doors we open and close each day decide the life we live."

I'm making my new home in Seattle, more so every day. It's not exactly what I envisioned or even what I anticipated when I planned my move, but it's a happy life. I've started to craft my new routine.

It may not be so glamorous. Sure, I've been on business trips, which contrary to popular belief, are not really all that fun. You're working, you're just in a different setting. And there's the whole tiring aspect of travel. And there's my girl date nights each week, and my house's Mad Men watching parties every Sunday night, and the grocery store, and the laundry. It's certainly different to get up and go to a 9 to 5 job every day, or in my case, 7 to 3:30. But it's quickly become a routine.

But a lot of that routine is about the unexpected - I'll think work will be slow and then someone shows up at my desk and I'm running around the whole day, or a random friend will be passing through town and think, Mary's here, we should get together. And I love that. I love not knowing exactly what's coming - having some cosmic universe decide that for some reason my world should collide with someone else's for a minute at Starbucks, for a day here and there...or for a lifetime. Sure, people come into your life and they go. Jobs change, heck, careers change, and if you ever think for one second your life has fallen into some dull routine, think again. Every day there is a whole bunch of things left to chance. Sure there's always the possibility you'll be miserable - but there's also a chance that you could be incredibly happy...if you just look at what's around you.

PS - If you haven't checked out the new Sarah Barieles CD, this is my shameless plug for it. It's really great!

Photo credit: http://abeautifulinheritance.tumblr.com

Fall Into the Gap

Don't you remember those old Gap commericals? With all the cutest girls, with the hippest new clothes, and the shiny new backpacks? The days of school shopping and sharp new pencils?

This year is the first year since I can remember that I'm not going back to school. Many of my friends are back to college, some of the "little" kids I used to know are going through their first days of high school and college, and everything is happening just as it does every year.

Which leads me down that fickle little road called memory lane. Back to my first day of kindergarten, when I stained my brand new shirt with strawberry juice, and seventh grade, when I was devestated I didn't make the intramural volleyball team, and senior year, when I could finally drive to school...

School is great at compartmentalizing life. Until you are eighteen, mostly everyone is on the same path. You pass the landmarks of first grade, second grade, third grade, all together. And for the most part, college is like that too. Most people these days go to college - maybe you're on the five year plan, or you study abroad, or go to a two year school, but everyone is still passing through the familiar landmarks of growing up. Expiermenting with alcohol, getting into more serious relationships, discovering who you might want to be for the rest of your life.

But after college, those neat little compartments - they go away. There's no one to tell you when to hit the next landmark, and even scarier, there's no one telling you what that landmark is. Marriage? Career advancement? Kids? It can happen at 22 or 34, or quite possibly never at all. And that can be a little daunting.

But there is a silver lining! It means that you can write the rules. Don't like the conventional landmarks? Then change them. Ready for bigger and better things? Then get on your way.

I'm right there with you...but not before back to school shopping. Who says you can't look fabulous for the first day of school, even if you're not going to a classroom?

The Big Question

So I just read this great post about The Cocktail Question, and decided I needed to do a little defining, or should I say un-defining of my life right now.

I'm not going to lie, Boeing has already become a big part of my life. It's starting to be routine now, which I'm happy for. I've got the business cards, the decorated cubicle, and the answer to the cocktail question. It's my job, but it's not what I do.

But what do I do?

Well, I sing in the car for starters. Off key, loud, and often. And sometimes I throw in a few dance moves for posterity.

I drink coffee. Every day. In extremely large quantities. Sometimes on coffee dates, which I also love.

I learn. I am curious about pretty much everything and I'm over the whole "stupid" questions things, because I've honestly probably asked them all already. So I'm learning, every day, in big ways and small, about myself, my friends, the world and my family.

I like to go out on the town with my girls and drink white wine, and be classy. I feel more at home and in a dress and heels than in jeans. I have a large shoe collection.

I do absolutely crazy things with my family. I think it's genetic. Or it started when I was so young, it was just engrained in my personality. We road rally, we ride buses to Canada, heck, we invented the Polish press (ask if you want to know), and we had nativity scenes on our front lawn.

I laugh. Mostly at the ridiculous things I've done. I'm not funny, but a lot of funny things happen to me, and I'm a good story teller, so you do the math.

I run every day and it's the one time of the day that I need to have completely to myself. I love watching hockey. In fact, I have a signed picture of Jason Pominville in my cube at work. If you don't know who that is, shame on you.

I'm a believer, in the fairy tale, in love, in big dreams, and in the potential of everyone to turn a life around. I like to talk, and I've realized that I can be pretty opinionated sometimes. I find beauty in the small things.

But more than all of that, I'd like to think that I've made an impact on people. Changed them, in small ways or big ways. And that their world has been a little better because of me.

Better because of me...so much more than my cocktail answer will ever be.

When in Rome...

"What is the fatal charm of Italy? What do we find there that can be found nowhere else? I believe it is a certain permission to be human, which other places, other countries, lost long ago." --Erica Jong

Wow. So let me start off this post by saying Rome was everything I imagined it to be. There is SO much to do there. Secondly, let me tell you that the overnight trains in Italy are more uncomfortable than buses. Seriously, if you're thinking about taking one, it's probably a bad plan, unless, of course, you like highly uncomfortable small seats, unbearably hot small spaces, and sketchy tatoo-covered men. Thank god Rome was cool enough to make up for all of that.

We saw all the major sites, even though many of them were unfortunately under a lot of construction. First, the Pantheon, which, to be perfectly honest, was not as impressive as I had imagined it would be. It's beautiful, don't get me wrong, but it didn't move me. Now the Colesium is something I could get into. It was gigantic and gorgeous, and I even was charmed by the ridiculously annoying gladiator men that stood in front to take touristy pictures with people for money.

On a little side note: what is with all the Egyptian stuff in Italy? Is any Egyptian stuff left in Egypt? There are 13 obelisks in Rome, all of which I think were stolen from Egypt, and the Egyptian museum in Torino has about a thousand tombs and mummies and stuff, so really. And also, why do silly Italians dress up as a King Tut mummy for money? Are they confused as to what country they are in? Or to they just like to cover themselves in gold shiny spandex in the 80 degree weather and not move for hours for their own amusement? If anyone could get back to me on these pressing questions, that'd be great.

Anyway, back to Rome Rome and not Egypt Rome, we went to the Roman Forum and the Palatine Hill, and it was gorgeous. The weather was perfect, it was so big that it didn't seem like there were hundreds of tourists there, and we were free to just wander around and think about all the history we were walking on. That thousands and thousands of years ago, people were celebrating the first New Year under these columns right here, and here, oh here, Julius Cesear was here. I mean, how cool is that?

In addition to all this fabulousness, I got to see Barbie, my BFFFF (or at least that many F's), and we spent the day together at the Vatican. That's another addition to the lifetime "must-see" list, if you haven't already. The Basilica is incredibly gorgeous and not at all what I expected to look like. We also were galavanting around St. Peter's square and saw the papal tombs, including John Paul II's. Then, we went to the Vatican Musuem, which is where they keep the Sistine Chapel, the Rapahel Rooms, tapestries, maps, and statues. It's a lot to take in, and you could spend way more than a day there. FYI: the Basilica/tombs & the Vatican museum are in completely different places and not connected all. If you're confused, don't worry, because I was too.

Anyway, the Sistine Chapel was incredible. Like, awe-inspiring, soaking in the gorgeous, dumbfounding incredible. The first time we went in, it was super crowded with tourists, but nearer to closing time, we got lost in the labryinth of the museum and ended up back there, with next to no one there. I was perfectly content to just sit and drink it all in. I was so giddy that I said silly things like, "I wish this was my bedroom...because then I could open my eyes to this." and "Do you ever think that this, like, isn't wallpaper?" But seriously, it's a little bit hard for me to fathom that someone actually created all that in his mind, and then painted it in a gigantic room so we could all look at it hundreds of years later. And the Rapahel Rooms. Well, those were great too. Everything was just, larger than life. For me, it was so weird to see all those pictures you always see in history books in real life. Newsflash: they actually do exist!

I know this post is getting to be a long Rome gush, but honestly, there were just too many "favorite" things there. & don't even get me started about the food...basically you can eat anything that ends in a vowel and is delicious there. But one last place I loved, is the Trevi Fountain. It's this great big fountain that's all white and super duper cool. Rumor has it if you throw a coin in the fountain you'll come back to Rome one day, so obviously, I had to throw one in.

Because, one day, I'm coming back.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours

“At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.”

This a blog full of annoucements!


So, for those of you who don't already know, I'm officially a working girl as of July 8th! I'll be moving to Seattle to start working for Boeing! I'm going to be working in the F-22 production facility doing procurement. I'm not sure what exactly I had always imagined for my first job, but I couldn't be happier with my choice. I love Seattle & I'm excited to go back to a great company. I've been really nervous about my decision, and I was talking to someone the other day, and about how I hoped my first real job would be a good experience. And do you know what they said?

They said it doesn't matter!

At first, I was surprised, but then they explained that if it's great, then that's great, but if it's bad, then it's a good experience and I'll know what I don't like doing. There will always be bad jobs - if they happen early in your life, all the better. And that really hit me. If there's one thing I've learned in Orchard Park, and Moscow, and Coeur d'Alene, and Seattle, and now Chambery, it's that I can be happy anywhere I put my mind to it. So this job is just the next step in life. And if it's great, that's great, and if it's not, that's great too, because it will be a learning experience and I'll still be happy.


Also, for those of you who don't know, I have a boyfriend. He's French & he makes me happy & I'm a lucky girl to have him with me on some of my adventures throughout Europe. This past weekend, we went to a concert to see Coeur de Pirate, a great French group in Dijon. They remind me a lot of Vanessa Carlton, so it should've been a pretty calm concert. But then, I fainted. Yep, that's right, I fainted. It was the heat, and all the people in the close space. But, I recovered quickly, thanks to some really nice people who helped me out & got to see the rest of the concert, in a place where there was more air!

We also got to see this 24 hour bike race in his hometown. It's like a carnival for bikes! There are teams of 8 that must fill 2 places on bikes for 24 hours. Except that it's more of a giant party, complete with the whole town, decorations, concerts, and lots of food and drink. It was so cool to see a community come together and joke and laugh and do, well, very much the same thing Americans do when we get together. I'm blessed to have spent time experiencing the "real" French way of life & I hope that in my last days here I can soak up as much of it as I can.