I'm smart, but sometimes, I still listen to Justin Bieber

Life is full of contradictions. After traveling this week with some work colleagues, I learned a whole bunch about them that I wouldn't have known from our regular 9 to 5. People are always more than what meets the eye. And I think sometimes, it's those seeming contradictions in a human being that excite us, and make us gravitate towards certain people.

This weekend, I went to a DI tournament. For those of you who don't know, DI is a non-profit creative problem solving organization for kids. It's basically a science olympiad with a dramatic component, and it seriously rocks. The thing is, it celebrates creativity in kids, quirkiness in kids, and it's an opportunity for them to think outside the box.

I had a blast, reliving my DI days, and seeing all the creative things the kids came up with. I hope that kids keep all their quirky traits into adulthood. Because being quirky and weird can help you meet people, get a job, and be successful. No one wants to be with someone who's an exact copy of someone else, and I think we all need to recognize that. We spend so much time trying to fit in with other people that we wind up trying to be someone we're not. And that's seriously not cool.

So here are some contradictory things about me, that are quirky, and weird, and awesome:
*i like to wear high heels and be girly, but i love playing in the mud
*I have a nerd laugh when something is absolutely funny
*I'm a home-body, but I love to travel and see new places
*I'm fiercely independent, but I can't make decisions for the life of me
*I still like to color

With that being said, this week I'm going to work hard on making the quirky, most authentic side of myself shine this week. Let's celebrate being quirky!

"and i'm never sure, what i'm looking for, but it's always on my mind..."

"What is drama but life with the dull bits cut out." - Alfred Hitchcock

I thought being a grown-up meant that there would be no more drama, but that was a big lie. There have been a lot of big drama-fests at work lately, and it always surprises me that these things happen in the work place. I mean, come on people, we're supposed to be grown-ups - empowered, making decisions!

One of the things that continually surprises me is how wrapped up people can get in their little area. There are chargelines to worry about, people that are hesitant to have their name attached to a project, people who can't work with people x, y and z. Don't get me wrong, I get wrapped up in my stuff too, probably more than a lot of people, given that I'm 22.

In college, I used to get so irritated by the drama that surrounded me in my sorority. Fortunately, I thought, all that was going to end when I got into the "real world." But I'm learning more and more that the line between being in and out of the "real world" is a blurry one. I mean, there is no "fake world," is there?

There are people at work who "don't get it." I don't think I am one of these people. And furthermore, I don't intend on being one of them. I'm going to get where I want to go, wherever that is, by writing my own rules and trying to not to get so tangled up in the drama.

Then again, a little drama can be a good thing...Craig sent me flowers at work for Valentine's day. I suppose you could call that dramatic, and definitely not the unpleasant kind. And Emily came to spend the weekend last weekend, and we definitely got into some shennangins that one might call dramatic.

Let's admit it, we can all be drama queens sometimes. Drama makes life more interesting....just don't let it rule your life. There are bigger fish to fry sunshine :)

Also - I'm really diggin' the Sounds Like This album lately. Check it out if you want some smooth tunes!

"love, prepare yourself to shine."

"Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

It's 2011...and strange to think that just a year ago I was leaving to start out on an adventure to France, starting this blog in hopes of having a way to look back at it all. It was an incredible year. Last year, I wrote a journal entry saying that I thought the word that would best summarize my year in 2010 would be growth.

And in many ways, that would be true. I went to France on my own – traveled and saw the world, did so much my parents never were able to do; and now Seattle – where I have my first job and corresponding paycheck, and my first stab at the real world. To be honest, I’m not sure what 2011 is going to bring – lots of joy and struggles to be sure, new ups and downs to learn from and grow with.

I think for 2011, I would like my word to be individual. I want to continue to learn who I am, and to define it. I want to broaden my sense of self and start to figure out the rest of my life, however that’s going to end up. Adjusting to working every day has been a different challenge than my challenges of last year. And although it's been a huge change in many ways, I definitely feel like I do valuable work. And I actually like what I'm doing. Which I'm sure surprises no one except for me. I think one of my problems is that I like everything I do. And so then I never know what I actually want to do the most. And that's why I have trouble making decisions...yes, trouble making decisions, huge shocker, I know. So one of my goals is to start doing the choosing, even if it's difficult, consciously and deliberately picking one thing over the other because it's what I want, and not what anyone else wants.

Seattle is calm for the most part, and there's a routine. I go to work, I laugh with my cubemates, I come home, I go to volleyball on Wednesdays (i know, right?) , I spend time with a boy who loves me, I drink obscene amounts of coffee, I train for my 2nd half marathon (june 5th!!!), and sometimes I get lost in all of that. And it's all good, don't get me wrong. But I am bold and daring, and have so much more out there to accomplish and dream and do. And I think that's a lofty enough goal for 2011. Bring it on :)

And here we have Idaho

"We'll go singing, singing of you, ah, proudly too, all our lives through, alma mater, our Idaho..."

A whole bunch of people always ask me, "So, why'd you go to school all the way out in Idaho?" And I always have a whole bunch of answers to give - I wanted a change - I have family that live in Idaho - My aunt went there - I got a great scholarship package. And those things are all true statements. But the truth is, like most of the really good decisions that I've made in my life, I have absolutely no idea why I chose to go there.

I also tell people that I never intended to stay in Idaho. And that's true too. It wasn't supposed to be a destination, but life takes you to unexpected places.

This weekend I went back to Moscow for a football game. No, not a football game, the football game. We got crushed by Boise State. And I absolutely loved every single minute of it. Not the game, mind you, that was devastating. But being back with all my friends in that town was absolutely fabulous.

Every bar has a story, every restaurant, every place on campus. It was my home for four long years. I'm glad I've moved on, but to go back...it feels so good.

The memories I have of college are nothing but fond ones. I found out who I was in that town, and the people I met there are the people I care about the most. I talk about Idaho a lot, even now, because it changed who I was. It helped me become the person I am still becoming, and am capable of becoming.

I'm told undergraduate universities breed loyalty like no other form of higher education has mastered. With no experience but my own to go on, I think that's probably a true statement. Although the final score came up 52-14, I'm still proud to be a Vandal! And I'm always going to be, no matter where my life takes me.

Going to Idaho was no accident. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that things happen for a reason. And I'm so glad that it did.

So here we go bluebird

"The doors we open and close each day decide the life we live."

I'm making my new home in Seattle, more so every day. It's not exactly what I envisioned or even what I anticipated when I planned my move, but it's a happy life. I've started to craft my new routine.

It may not be so glamorous. Sure, I've been on business trips, which contrary to popular belief, are not really all that fun. You're working, you're just in a different setting. And there's the whole tiring aspect of travel. And there's my girl date nights each week, and my house's Mad Men watching parties every Sunday night, and the grocery store, and the laundry. It's certainly different to get up and go to a 9 to 5 job every day, or in my case, 7 to 3:30. But it's quickly become a routine.

But a lot of that routine is about the unexpected - I'll think work will be slow and then someone shows up at my desk and I'm running around the whole day, or a random friend will be passing through town and think, Mary's here, we should get together. And I love that. I love not knowing exactly what's coming - having some cosmic universe decide that for some reason my world should collide with someone else's for a minute at Starbucks, for a day here and there...or for a lifetime. Sure, people come into your life and they go. Jobs change, heck, careers change, and if you ever think for one second your life has fallen into some dull routine, think again. Every day there is a whole bunch of things left to chance. Sure there's always the possibility you'll be miserable - but there's also a chance that you could be incredibly happy...if you just look at what's around you.

PS - If you haven't checked out the new Sarah Barieles CD, this is my shameless plug for it. It's really great!

Photo credit: http://abeautifulinheritance.tumblr.com

Fall Into the Gap

Don't you remember those old Gap commericals? With all the cutest girls, with the hippest new clothes, and the shiny new backpacks? The days of school shopping and sharp new pencils?

This year is the first year since I can remember that I'm not going back to school. Many of my friends are back to college, some of the "little" kids I used to know are going through their first days of high school and college, and everything is happening just as it does every year.

Which leads me down that fickle little road called memory lane. Back to my first day of kindergarten, when I stained my brand new shirt with strawberry juice, and seventh grade, when I was devestated I didn't make the intramural volleyball team, and senior year, when I could finally drive to school...

School is great at compartmentalizing life. Until you are eighteen, mostly everyone is on the same path. You pass the landmarks of first grade, second grade, third grade, all together. And for the most part, college is like that too. Most people these days go to college - maybe you're on the five year plan, or you study abroad, or go to a two year school, but everyone is still passing through the familiar landmarks of growing up. Expiermenting with alcohol, getting into more serious relationships, discovering who you might want to be for the rest of your life.

But after college, those neat little compartments - they go away. There's no one to tell you when to hit the next landmark, and even scarier, there's no one telling you what that landmark is. Marriage? Career advancement? Kids? It can happen at 22 or 34, or quite possibly never at all. And that can be a little daunting.

But there is a silver lining! It means that you can write the rules. Don't like the conventional landmarks? Then change them. Ready for bigger and better things? Then get on your way.

I'm right there with you...but not before back to school shopping. Who says you can't look fabulous for the first day of school, even if you're not going to a classroom?

The Big Question

So I just read this great post about The Cocktail Question, and decided I needed to do a little defining, or should I say un-defining of my life right now.

I'm not going to lie, Boeing has already become a big part of my life. It's starting to be routine now, which I'm happy for. I've got the business cards, the decorated cubicle, and the answer to the cocktail question. It's my job, but it's not what I do.

But what do I do?

Well, I sing in the car for starters. Off key, loud, and often. And sometimes I throw in a few dance moves for posterity.

I drink coffee. Every day. In extremely large quantities. Sometimes on coffee dates, which I also love.

I learn. I am curious about pretty much everything and I'm over the whole "stupid" questions things, because I've honestly probably asked them all already. So I'm learning, every day, in big ways and small, about myself, my friends, the world and my family.

I like to go out on the town with my girls and drink white wine, and be classy. I feel more at home and in a dress and heels than in jeans. I have a large shoe collection.

I do absolutely crazy things with my family. I think it's genetic. Or it started when I was so young, it was just engrained in my personality. We road rally, we ride buses to Canada, heck, we invented the Polish press (ask if you want to know), and we had nativity scenes on our front lawn.

I laugh. Mostly at the ridiculous things I've done. I'm not funny, but a lot of funny things happen to me, and I'm a good story teller, so you do the math.

I run every day and it's the one time of the day that I need to have completely to myself. I love watching hockey. In fact, I have a signed picture of Jason Pominville in my cube at work. If you don't know who that is, shame on you.

I'm a believer, in the fairy tale, in love, in big dreams, and in the potential of everyone to turn a life around. I like to talk, and I've realized that I can be pretty opinionated sometimes. I find beauty in the small things.

But more than all of that, I'd like to think that I've made an impact on people. Changed them, in small ways or big ways. And that their world has been a little better because of me.

Better because of me...so much more than my cocktail answer will ever be.